Life is often messy and as humans, from our spilled coffee to spilled secrets to running red lights (often resulting in a whole lotta latte all over our laps), we’re messy in it. Real life happens. Minutes turn into hours, hours into days and months and years and then one day Lesley Kirschner finds herself thinking “Wait, when was the last time I actually set foot in a church?”
As a Catholic survivor, one can imagine her unbridled trepidation as she entered St. Matthew’s Parish, only to find herself grateful, humbled and maybe singing that Anna Nyack song, “Breathe,” after she interviewed Father Tommy Watson, who began serving at the congregation a little over a year ago.
A native of South Carolina, a former tenured associate professor of music at the South Carolina School of the Arts at Anderson University, he founded and directed the Opera Workshop there; taught an array of vocal lessons, music history, music theory and lyric diction for singers; and sang professionally as a classic baritone/bass soloist while dedicating his free time to mission work in Africa and India while employed at AU.
After discerning a definitive calling, he resigned from his tenured teaching position, studied, ultimately graduated from Berkeley Divinity School at Yale and was ordained just two weeks later.
And because God needed somebody to help and because he’s a little broken (just like the rest of us) and because his path led him to a number of applications and interviews, Rev. Watson ultimately pursued that which was pursuing him — our lovely town of Wilton’s St. Matthew’s Parish.
1. Can you tell me a little bit about your spiritual journey and how you were called to the faith?
Rev. Tommy Watson: I grew up in a household with people of faith. My maternal grandfather was a preacher and also a carpenter. He was actually born in the 19th century.
I really got to know him as an individual, and growing up with him and my grandmother, I got to know the prayers of the church.
My parents were very instrumental also in making sure we actually went to church. Around 12 years old is when I began to discern a call to the ministry. It was sort of a coming of age, growing into a young man and for myself at 12, how I experienced God.
No one was there leading me or guiding me or instructing me to do anything… I found God myself; and it was through a sermon that came from Isiah, the sixth chapter where Isiah is in the temple and he has a vision of God and this is how Isiah imagines him…
He is sitting on a throne and his clothing is so much that it fills the temple and so the pillars in the temple are shaking and the angels and the seraphim are saying “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of all Hosts.” Isiah then says “I’m a man of unclean” and God says, “Well who shall we send for us?” And Isiah is sort of like, “I don’t know. It’s just me here and I’m a man of unclean lips.”
So the seraphim goes to the altar, takes a piece of coal and places it on his lips, purifying his lips. Then he says, “Who can we send for us?” And I remember thinking at 12 years old — God needs somebody to go and so I’m gonna go help God. That’s how I saw it.
As I grew, my idea of what it meant to be ordained was skewed.
Growing up, from the fundamental perspective, that idea of perfection was in my mind and that’s not what it means to be a person of faith at all; but what it does have to do with is that which is always pursuing us. So I decided I wasn’t going to do it because I’m not perfect enough.
I decided I’d go to college and for a long time that’s what I did. Then in 2019, I heard the same sermon. That was the realization when that which was pursuing me finally said, “I really meant what I said.”
So then the journey began. In 2021, I resigned from my position as a tenured professor. I didn’t tell many people, only the people I knew, and this is the reason why: when one is being called into this kind of vocation and profession, it’s one of these things where you don’t have any proof. You can’t prove this is actually something you’re being called to; but there’s something within that remains unsettled. It’s very, very clear… almost like you could reach out and touch it.
I didn’t stay in my head that much because, had I done that, I probably would have just played it safe and just stayed at the university and retired.
That’s one reason I didn’t want to share it with people — because maybe they would have said it’s a bad idea or they would have told me to just stay the path. But my true friends, they walked with me because, whatever you think about being ordained, it has nothing to do with perfection and everything to do with the calling that individual has in their life.
It’s very hard, people always think ministers and priests, that they have to be perfect; that there’s these boxes we have to check and you do all that checking and it doesn’t matter, right? It’s still not good enough, never enough and that’s what I had to learn — that I am enough. I am enough because I was created that way.
2. I know music is such a central part of your life. Did you grow up in a musical home?
Watson: I did. My maternal grandmother did a lot of singing of the hymns and then later on, my parents said, “You should really be a part of the children’s choir.” And I hated every minute of it. It was awful. It really was.
Now, I go about my daily life and it’s a part of it. I like to reflect on the text itself and how it ministers to me. It also applies to some of the questions that people have about secular things; that really resonates and speaks to the spiritual, the inner being of the person.
In the words of Bette Midler, “God is watching us.” Or from the show Carousel, “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” Or the number of country western songs… we can grow toward the divine because the divine is always around with hands and arms outstretched; and we can experience the divine in little, subtle ways… the gentle blow of the wind, the beauty of the weather that we’ve been having lately or the moments when we’re just having a cup of coffee and all the peace in that moment.
Sometimes I just need to look beyond all the things I need to do, all of the things I need to accomplish and remind myself that I’m a human being and connected to all that stuff out there that we call creation.
I have this little sign hanging up there that says, “Breathe.” There’s a lot that goes on in the world. Everything right now is just so tense and so heavy… and I literally see that sign and I stop, and I breathe.
How is singing or just music in general cathartic for you?
Watson: They say, “Those who sing pray twice.”
I mean, singing is only done when we are breathing and breathing reminds me of the breath of God and then I’m connecting to that which is life. It’s just that breath. We coordinate the breath with the body and we connect to that which is truly divine.
The more oxygen we bring, the more calm we feel, the more clarity there is and then we feel settled, right? And whenever we do it collectively, our heart rate sinks; like when you go to a concert and everybody’s heart rate is the same because they’re all actually breathing together. It’s just allowing that breath, which is a large part of life, for us to enter. We breathe it in and then we exhale it back.
3. So I have kind of a burning question/confessional… is it okay that I like “Jesus Christ Superstar” or is that sacrilegious or something?
Watson: I love it. It speaks to another generation. It also means that not one specific faith tradition or culture has dibs on who Jesus actually was, right? You don’t think this guy could actually dance? He made his own booze. I mean, he was dancing. He was dancing and having a good time. You don’t think they were laughing and having a good time? They had a little drink. They drank. They embraced it. It was embraced — all of it. God created all of these things.
I always think of that old Simon and Garfunkel lyric, “Blessed is the church service, makes me nervous.” What would you say to someone like myself who has maybe either yet to feel a connection and/or struggles to feel grounded in something larger than their own life?
Watson: The church has been so weaponized and all of these traditions have been so weaponized. It’s literally not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to bring us joy. It’s supposed to bring us community and fellowship. It’s supposed to bring us peace that the world can’t give us, right? Always push, push, push, go, go, go, more, more, more. How can we truly know love, right?
And this is what the faith tradition is all about, right? It’s about love. And love is different from being kind or nice — those are far derivatives. But grace — immeasurable grace is different.
Look, I’m the first one to tell people, “I’m broken.” That’s the first thing I would tell people here as a person of faith.
So I’m broken and the things people say sometimes really hurt and sometimes I think the whole world is just on fire and am I really making a difference? It can be a lot; and it’s supposed to be.
The faith traditions are supposed to bring us together like a fantastic tailgating party — everyone coming together with good will, everybody contributing and coming in with the right energy. In reality, some of us are a little broken and we have space for that here. That’s what this whole community is all about. When I am weaker or feeling wounded or vulnerable, other people are strong. That’s what community is. It’s another type of family; and what we are reminded of is that globally, the family exists as well. We can be safe. We can experience respite from all of the go, go, go; from all of the negativity that is out there because negativity sells and that’s what people are banking on. But this is a place of rest and we can come in to be healed in our own respective ways. It’s nice.
4. What makes St. Matthew’s Parish special and how would you say you create a sense of community for fellow parishioners?
Watson: What makes St. Matthew’s so special is that all genuinely are welcome — no exceptions. We’re a community and we’re actually embodying that which we talk about on Sundays. We are connecting with those who would otherwise not have and we are concerned about them. We did a sock drive and we did a backpack drive and we connected the elderly with resources they might not have otherwise had. We’re doing a lot of community service for people in and around the community — raking leaves, making cookies… God’s love being experienced in the world. It’s a high priority.
Do you have a choir here?
Yes. They sing every Sunday. We just had our fall kick-off program. We’re blessed. We have a new season upon us… and concerts, the high holidays, the instruments — the horns and the strings… it’s a lot of energy. We have a big choir.
And do you have Church School here for the kids?
Yes and that’s a part of my responsibility here… all of the curriculum that goes into forming the terms of what faith is; and making sure everything is age specific.
The other day we were talking about Lazarus and the importance of seeing all people, not just some people and how we can actually be of service. We can’t help everyone all at once but we can help one person. It’s about being mindful of the fact that someone sees them.
The other thing too is self care. Self care is so critical. Jesus? After he ministered, he withdrew. He would go to the mountain.
All of us need time to withdraw, to unplug. I turn the phone on silent for 30 minutes and the world isn’t going to burn down in 30 minutes. And if it does, there’s nothing I can do about it anyway. Before I unplug, I’ll let people know — for the next 12 hours, I’m unavailable. And then I turn off the phone.
In order for us to be of use or help or any kind of joy to others, we have to have self care. It’s important. I have to build it into my schedule. Otherwise it’s never going to happen and a complete calendar year passes and I haven’t done anything.
I wake up every morning and I breathe and I wait and I speak in silence to my heart and I know that I probably have another six or seven minutes before life happens.
5. What do you like to do in your own free time?
Watson: I like to go to the gym. I’ll go on the treadmill or whatever for half an hour and just get in the zone.
Do you talk to people in the gym or are you in the zone?
When I’m in the zone, I don’t. It’s just “me” time and I’m listening to my Whitney or my Beyonce.
Sometimes I like to just travel into the city and go to the Met or recently I went to see Beetlejuice. It’s important to have a social life outside of my profession where I can go to places and spaces and I’m not necessarily talking about God. Sometimes you just need to be able to grab a slice of pizza and a glass of something and put your feet up, right? Watch a movie… cry… laugh. Eat some Arethusa Ice Cream. God is calling us to have a balanced life. That’s life. That’s when real life happens.