Thirty-one years ago, Pamela Brown and her husband, a.k.a. Coach Brown, moved here from Manhattan in search (like so many) of the promised bubble-suburban charm, superb schools and hopefully, a Starbucks. 

Four kids, grandkids and an elegy rich in breathing life into historic preservation later, this graduate of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association University and certified celebrant is the community’s pillar for supporting families in their time of loss and need, bringing a fresh and grounded approach; a light in the darkness. 

As the executive administrator at Wilton Congregational Church, Brown makes sure this 1790 sanctuary, building complex, historic parsonage and grounds all run as seemingly seamless as possible, all while implementing environmentally sustainable everyday practices within the church community. 

As if this weren’t enough, Pam is completely responsible for managing the burials, care, community outreach projects, maintenance and sales at Hillside Cemetery as well as the historic Sharp Hill Cemetery. 

Brown also sits on the Historic District Historic Property Commission for the Town of Wilton, loves Almond Joys and believes in the importance of slowing down and manifesting gratitude. 

1. I understand you’re the executive administrator at Wilton Congregational Church. What originally brought you to the WCC community? How did you first become involved in the church and what was the path that led you into the work you’re doing now? 

Pamela Brown: After being a stay-at-home mom for 18 years, I came across an ad for a job at Wilton Congregational Church managing the facilities, grounds and cemetery. I thought, well, I’ve been managing my own home and yard all these years, maybe my skills could translate? Just scale it up a bit! 

But what really drew me in was the cemetery piece. I’ve always loved history, gardens and genealogy, so it felt like the perfect blend of all my interests. And with a degree in decorative arts, it really did feel like the universe lined up my quirky skill set for this role. 

I’ll always be grateful that the leadership at WCC took a chance on me, because this job has turned out to be so much more than just work — it’s been a joy, almost a calling. I truly love what I do. 

Fun fact: I recently discovered I’m actually related to Rev. John Robinson — he’s my 10th great-grandfather! He was the spiritual leader of the Pilgrims, and his teachings became the foundation for the Congregational Church. So I guess, in a way, this work is in my DNA. 

2. You’re also the executive director of Hillside Cemetery. I actually drove around there one rainy afternoon recently just to see it, and that Eleanor Rigby line about “wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door” kept repeating in my head. I find cemeteries both peaceful (no one’s talking back to me) and unsettling. Is there a feeling you get being there and what drew you to this line of work? 

Brown: I’ve always found cemeteries really special. When I was a kid, I used to wander around old cemeteries tucked away in the woods of New Hampshire with my grandmother, visiting our long-gone relatives. Those afternoons gave me such a deep respect for history and the stories that connect us all. 

So now, getting to manage Hillside feels like coming full circle. I’m responsible for everything from sales and marketing to overseeing the care of the grounds and arranging services and burials; and I feel privileged. I see it as sacred work. I’m often one of the last people to help a family say goodbye to their loved one, and I want that moment to be as compassionate and respectful as possible. 

And recently, Hillside achieved its arboretum status, which adds another beautiful layer to what we do. Now it’s not just a place of remembrance, but also a place of peace and nature — where people can reflect, walk and feel connected to something lasting. 

3. Can you debrief me a little for town residents who maybe don’t have a frame of reference on what and where Hillside Cemetery is? 

Brown: Hillside Cemetery & Arboretum is located at 165 Ridgefield Rd., right in the heart of Wilton. Many people think of it as the “town cemetery,” but it’s actually owned and cared for by Wilton Congregational Church. It’s non-sectarian and open to all, whether or not you’re a Wilton resident. 

Hillside dates back to the late 1780s, when it began as a one-acre burial ground for the Middlebrook family. It was given to the church in 1817–1818, and over time, several additional parcels of land were added to create the 26.5 acres we have today. The cemetery is deeply woven into the town’s history, with the resting places of many of Wilton’s founding families. Over the years, it has grown from a simple burial ground into something much more — a place of reflection and history, and now, with its recent arboretum accreditation, a sanctuary of trees, gardens and natural beauty. 

I’m really proud of that transformation. It honors the past while giving the community something living and peaceful to enjoy today. Hillside is truly one of those special Wilton treasures that connects generations — past, present and future. 

4. I always sort of feel like people fill in the lines you don’t give them and so it’s better to tell your own story before other people write it for you. But for the departed, how have you found their stories get told and what has been your experience of collecting and examining the storied lives of past residents such as Ruth Campbell Bigelow and Dr. Joseph Edward Turner? 

Brown: Ah, great question! I absolutely love collecting stories and learning more about the individuals laid to rest here. Every headstone has a story behind it, and I see part of my job as helping those stories continue to be told. 

Each March, I lead a Women’s History Month tour, along with a few other themed tours throughout the year. It’s incredible to see how many people resting at Hillside helped shape not just Wilton, but the wider world. There’s Major Samuel Comstock, a Revolutionary War officer; Edward Sanford Martin, the first literary editor of Life magazine and founder of the National Lampoon; and Mary Emma Woolley, the 11th president of Mount Holyoke and the first female student to attend Brown University. 

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg — Hillside is also home to graphic designers, writers, artists, musicians, business leaders and community changemakers. But really, every person is special in their own way, and each life is meaningful to their family. These are stories truly worth remembering and sharing. I encourage everyone to check out our website and explore our list of “notables.” It’s a fascinating glimpse into Wilton’s history, and a wonderful reminder that every life leaves its mark. 

5. If someone gave me the gift of 24 hours, it would definitely involve the key to Rise Doughnuts, a getaway car and a “companion” who bears a striking resemblance to Matt Damon (the “Good Will Hunting” years). Describe your idea of a perfect day to me. (Spare nothing). 

Brown: If I could, I’d sneak away to North Truro — my absolute favorite spot — soak up the sun and surf, walk along the hidden paths. There’s something about the beach, the waves, the sand — pure magic. Of course, I’d be surrounded by my husband, my kids and my grandsons, because any perfect day has to include family. Peace, beauty and a little bit of adventure — that’s my ideal. 

Closer to home, in a perfect 24 hours, you’d find me tucked into my garden, sipping a crisp Fresca, with a good book in my lap. I’d be wishing my beloved Welsh terrier was with me but taking comfort in the birds singing all around instead. 

Bonus Speed Round Questions 

Do you have a favorite “go to” spot in Wilton? 

Brown: I love Weir Farm — the beautiful trails, rich artistic history and the lovely logs and stone walls perfect for sitting and overlooking the pond. My kids practically grew up exploring those woods; it’s such a peaceful, magical spot. 

Are you a morning person? 

Brown: Absolutely not — I’m a total night owl. But I make it work to live in a 9-to-5 world. Coffee helps. 

What’s the last book you read or movie you watched that changed the way you looked at your own life? 

Brown: The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong. It’s such a tender book about addiction, chosen family, elder care — or the lack thereof — and finding community where you least expect it. It really made me reflect on how we care for each other and the connections that sustain us. 

I love the Maya Angelou quote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Do you have a quote like this you often self-mantra or advice someone’s given you that’s stuck? 

Brown: Someone I worked with used to say, “Every day’s a holiday, and every meal’s a banquet.” At first, it sounded a bit glib — but the longer I’ve thought about it, the more it rings true. Slow down, appreciate what you have and manifest gratitude. 

What’s your favorite Halloween candy? 

Brown: Classic mom answer: Almond Joy, all the way.

Correction: The article has been updated to reflect that Brown has four children, not two.