5 Questions With… Lt. David Hartman: Wilton Native, Lifelong Helper, Genuine Good Guy

He’s climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, plunged like a penguin into freezing cold water and sometimes drives in complete silence. 

He’s seen it, clicked it and always tries to fix it, knowing he wouldn’t trade his job for the world, and perhaps because of some of the things he’s seen and some of the things he’s done and perhaps because he’s one of the best products of having “grown up Wilton,” you should consider yourself extremely lucky if you ever cross paths with Lt. David Hartman of the Wilton Police Department. 

Lesley Kirschner found herself so fortunate last week when she met up with this busy president of Wilton’s Benevolent Police Society for way more than five questions, a really good bagel and lox (thanks Tusk and Cup) and some real life advice on natural consequences, seeing something and saying something, and when to take a leap of faith. (You can all picture Steve Martin now in that shining, silver sports coat, you’re welcome). 

1. Having grown up in Wilton, what are some of the ways the town is different today versus when you were a kid? 

David Hartman: Obviously there were no cell phones so you actually had to pick up the phone to call a friend to meet up. Sometimes we’d walk through the path, (I know some of the kids still do this today), from Middlebrook down to Town Center; we’d get Scoops.

I used to go into the old Wilton Pharmacy and everybody in town had a local charge account. You could walk in and say, “I want a pack of gum…or a soda, and put it on my parents’ tab.” So I never had to carry cash. I just had to make sure I had my parents’ permission. 

It was really cool to have that small town feel. I don’t think it’s bad now, it’s just different. 

Now as a parent, I get Venmo requests all the time but I’m very big on teaching my kids about finances. I think it’s really important to have a grasp on that and also sort of impossible. 

As a parent, you say things a million times and it seems like it goes in one ear and out the other but at some point, something clicks and you’re like, You know what? Maybe they were listening. 

Anyway, my parents didn’t let me just sit inside or play video games and I was always outside playing in the yard — building a fort or climbing a tree. 

2. Was Wilton always sort of the socio-economic background that it is now or that it appears to be? Or was there more diversity or middle class families? 

Hartman: I don’t really know how much it’s changed from where it was to where it is [now] and you’re talking about the perception I had when I was a kid. 

There were definitely people who sort of felt the stresses of keeping up with the Joneses. I didn’t really care if people had money or they didn’t. It didn’t matter to me. I just like people for people. But I had friends whose parents had more than enough money and friends whose parents could have used a little more. But as a kid, I wasn’t thinking about that. It was a different time. You weren’t seeing these things. You weren’t seeing social media. 

I’ve been in town since 1986. My parents moved here when I was in fourth grade. I run into people I know all the time… at Tusk and Cup, CT Grille, Orem’s Diner. It’s still a small town in that sense. 

3. Somewhere between “see-click-fix” and 9-1-1, there must be other ways of reporting issues and asking questions. Can you direct folks who maybe are in the same boat as I am when I see a dog locked in a hot car or something of a similar nature on who to contact or how to help? When is it important to speak up, in other words? 

Hartman: Call the Wilton PD. Call the actual main number if it’s not a 9-1-1 emergency, at 203.834.6260. Just give us a call because the dispatchers or the officers who work the front desk can address those issues but we can’t if we don’t know about it. 

It’s the officer’s job to ask questions. So maybe you call in something that doesn’t look right but you can’t quite put your finger on it but maybe we can extract it and get a greater understanding based upon the information we’re able to get from you. 

I don’t know if you can ever say there’s enough reporting. I think people should call on things they feel concerned about. If there’s nothing there, there’s nothing there… we’ll close out the case and move on. 

One of the things I always say to people is, ‘If you don’t tell us, we don’t (always) know.’ It’s the whole idea that somebody else will call, somebody else will do something, that somebody else in the alleyway will yell for help. Everybody thinks somebody else is calling; somebody else will do something. 

4. One can imagine being in law enforcement is a job that requires a high level of intense dedication. How do you maintain a work/life balance? Are you able to separate your job from your home life? Or is that something that’s ever been a challenge for you? 

Hartman: I think that’s a challenge for everybody at times, but yes, I think it takes a toll on people who are in this profession.

My wife wants to hear about my day but she doesn’t necessarily want to hear the “everything,” the nitty gritty and sometimes I need to talk it out. People say to me that my wife is really one of the most patient people they’ve ever met. 

Marriage isn’t something that you can just take for granted, as far as “it’s just going to work out.” You always have to work at it and it’s always a work in progress, regardless of your profession. 

In law enforcement especially, you’re subjected to a lot of trauma. Most people experience two, maybe three big traumas in their lives. Police officers experience two to three big traumas a month. You have to try to find a way to deal with that and not bring it home. 

I helped organize a peer support team here in Wilton to help officers talk, because you don’t necessarily need therapy, you just need to be able to get it out. You just need to have somebody there [in your job] who understands. 

The bucket eventually fills up and if you don’t learn how to empty the bucket a little at a time, it eventually overflows. 

I think when you make an officer a better officer by relieving their stress at work, you make them a better husband, a better father, a better member of the community they live in. So at the end of the day, when I can be a better person, I can be a better officer. 

5. You’re a Marist alum and you obviously graduated from the Police Academy and, I’m assuming, have done many hours of additional training and professional development, etc. over the years. 

In a community where college is for many, if not most, families an expectation versus a choice, what would you say to young people who are maybe considering alternative paths but are afraid to branch out and do something different? 

Hartman: Take a leap of faith if you really enjoy something and it’s what you want to do. 

Is college is for everyone? 

Hartman: No. Absolutely not. There are a lot of awesome jobs out there that are really needed — the trades. 

Nobody should go to college because of the pressure they’re receiving. They should be going to college because the education they’re getting is truly going to help them or they need it for the profession they’re thinking of going into. Now, that’s easier said than done because a lot of people don’t know what they want to do. 

But I will say one of the biggest problems people have when they come out of school is debt; they’re starting life behind the eight ball. It’s not a good financial decision if you don’t know where you’re going or what you’re doing and you’re going to start your life $250,000 in debt. 

These are tough decisions to make and we’re asking 18 year olds to be making decisions about the rest of their lives. 

If you don’t know where you want to go, maybe dabble in the trades. We need people in the trades; and you know what, if you’re driven, you’re not just an employee, eventually you’re a business owner. Maybe you choose to own your own business and you make a lot more money than some of the people going off to college, right? 

People just have to be open to other ideas and I don’t think one path is right for everyone. 

6. Knowing what you know now, would you encourage young people to go into law enforcement? 

Hartman: We need good people in law enforcement but it’s a tough profession — tough because of some of the things you see and some of the things you do — and very rewarding because of some of the things you see and the things you do.  I have a lot more good times in this job than I do bad. 

People who come into this profession need to stay positive and stay connected to the community. One of the biggest problems and reasons we see burnout in law enforcement is because people don’t get connected to the community and become cynical in their job. 

Nobody calls us when they’re having a good day; everybody calls us when they’re having a bad day. There are times when the thank yous come in and it’s really appreciated but when 9-1-1 is ringing, they’re not calling to say they’re having a great day. 

You need to be involved in the good of the community. I’m the president of the Wilton Benevolent Police Association and I love that because I get to do good things. We do a lot with the Special Olympics. We do a lot of fundraising and donations… a lot of things where we get to see the good in society. It’s a public service though. 

I normally listen to the radio, the music to just decompress but there are some days I just get in the car and drive in silence. 

7. Having seen a lot over the years, what are the biggest, needless chances you see everyday people take in our community? Obviously texting and driving is up there, but what are other safety concerns that people might not even think of in terms of their kids, road safety and just generally “making good choices?”

Hartman: Most of my career has been centered around road safety and educating the public. 

I always teach my officers, when you go out and make a traffic stop it’s not necessarily about the ticket, it’s about the interaction; about voluntary compliance of the law. 

We’re looking to get people to curb their driving habits, yeah? Improve, yeah? Sometimes depending on the level of violation or the number of times, it might warrant an infraction but the ultimate goal is voluntary compliance. 

But in terms of needless chances? The amount of speeding on our roads is bad. I receive speeding complaints from residents on a weekly basis; people wanting speed humps… that’s not really the answer. 

A lot of people want to be able to walk on these (residential) streets and you can’t in a lot of these neighborhoods. I always tell people that yes, you have the right to go for a walk on your road but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you should go for a walk on your road. 

We try things. We tried centerline rumble strips on Hurlbutt. I know some people didn’t like that, but we’re trying. We always try different things to improve safety but we have to remember this is New England, right? These are curvy, winding roads and that’s not going to change. 

We’ve got the [Fujitani Field] track and the NRVT. There are a lot of places that are available and accessible for people to walk where they don’t have to be putting themselves in danger. 

What about texting and driving? Do you think that’s gotten any better? 

Hartman: No. Last month for the entire month we participated in the state’s distracted driving high visibility enforcement grant, which paid to have officers out five days a week, Monday through Friday, anytime from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.. This was specifically to go after distracted driving… phone calls, texting. But it doesn’t even have to be the phone; it could be driving down Rte. 7, eating a bowl of soup with two hands and driving with your knees. That’s distracted, right? That’s reckless. Voice texting? That’s fine. Keep it out of your hands. 

I teach a driving course for senior citizens and one of the things we talk about is cognitive distraction and how it affects our ability to drive a car when we do something other than drive a car. So we may not see something that’s right in front of us and that thing that might be in front of us could be a person or it could be an animal. 

I always try to stress to people when you’re behind the wheel of a car, your primary job is to drive that vehicle. 

What about drunk driving? 

Hartman: In today’s day and age, we have so many ride shares, we have Uber… why are you taking a chance? It takes one second for somebody’s life to be changed forever. It’s just not necessary. How much does it cost to go from your pick of local Wilton establishments to your house? Probably the cost of one or two drinks… tops. 

8. Do you think it trickles down to our kids? I feel like my kids are always watching me, (a little too much sometimes). I feel like kids today are under so much pressure. 

Hartman: It’s a tough spot to be in. You want to be their friend. I want to come home and be the baseball coach and the Cub Scout leader and teach them how to drive and they also need guidance and discipline and they need to understand consequences. 

We always want to save them from everything. We want them to be safe. But are they really safe if we stop them from having those consequences where they would learn? There are plenty of teachable moments out there that go by because we’re so quick to intervene. 

We don’t want them to be embarrassed. We don’t want them to get in trouble; but I think as long as it’s not something that’s going to injure them or scar them forever, that sometimes they need the consequences to figure out it’s not worth it, it’s not the life they want to live. 

9. (Fully aware I was way over my five questions limit, I went ahead and asked:) Is there anything else you wanted to add? 

Hartman: Just a quick story. 

The other day, a woman drove by who was holding the phone out in front of her and she looked like she was talking so I pulled her over and when I pulled her over, she explained that she wasn’t talking, she was singing. 

She went on to explain that she had just come out of very stressful meeting and had been holding all of this stress and anxiety in and didn’t want to break down in front of other people and so she was singing along to a little Lynyrd Skynyrd and then she broke down and started crying. 

I’m human and I realize that in the grand scheme of things, me giving this woman a ticket in that moment wasn’t going to make her life better and probably what she needed was just someone to listen to her. 

So I asked her, “Is there anything you want to talk about? No pressure.” And she did. She talked and I listened and I let her know that it was going to be okay and that she was just going through some tough times and she was really thankful. I let her off with a verbal warning. 

She even came to the station and brought me a card and a little guardian angel figurine. 

We have to stay positive because it’s the little things, right? 

Really, I wouldn’t trade this job for the world.