Obituary: Raymond Moskow, 92, Longtime Wilton Resident, Community Leader and Tireless Volunteer

Raymond Moskow, a 55-year resident of Wilton, passed away at Norwalk Hospital on Oct. 2, 2024, after complications stemming from a fall during his beloved annual Maine vacation in July. Born in Cambridge, MA on Oct. 24, 1931, to Jay and Esther Moskow, Ray was raised in Newton, MA. He graduated from Browne & Nichols School in 1949, from Trinity College in Hartford as a DKE brother in 1953, and from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania in 1955. He was inducted into the Grand Lodge of Masons in Boston in 1954.

Ray joined IBM in Springfield, MA in 1955. He left briefly to serve in the U.S. Army in Washington, DC and was honorably discharged in 1962 to continue his IBM career. The next year he married Gail (Eileen) Totman of Conway, MA, and in the following years, their two daughters were born. 

During his 34-year career with IBM Ray assumed increasing responsibilities in 28 positions across a wide span of disciplines including sales, marketing, finance, human resources, technical service, data center and education. He was engaged in the early development and production of the IBM PC. Following his retirement from IBM in 1989, Ray spent three years directing Eastern US Administration for Comdisco, Inc.  

In the decades after his career, Ray enthusiastically devoted his time and talents to community service in many leadership and advisory roles: Wilton Family Y Board President, Wilton Youth Action President, Kiwanis Club of Wilton President, Family and Children’s Agency Board Chair, and advisor to Trackside Teen Center, the Archdiocese of Bridgeport, and numerous other non-profit organizations. When he wasn’t leading, he was a tireless joiner and volunteer.

Ray oversaw the design and construction of his family’s Wilton home in 1969 and took great pride in its expansion and upkeep. He nurtured a further diverse range of hobbies: computer technology, finance, cacti, woodchopping and lawn care, and maintained extensive collections of tools and gadgets related to these pursuits, always looking to offer a plant, loan a tool, collaborate on a project, or solve a mechanical problem. A lifelong athlete and competitor, he played college football and baseball, and was later an avid tennis player, softball third baseman, single shell sculler, cyclist, and paddle tennis player and instructor. He took up golf in his retirement and enjoyed years as a member of Silver Spring Country Club in Ridgefield. As an enthusiastic lifelong learner, his interests were wide and far-reaching. He was, always, a creative storyteller, joker, philosopher and poet, equally adept at playful sarcasm, youthful irreverence and deep sincerity. He loved to think, write and speak, and sent thousands of notes, newsletters, poems, lists, plans, proclamations and musings, on paper and later in email, widely to his family, friends and organizations. There were few things he loved more than finding and sharing the perfect quote, image, song or anecdote: “…couldn’t wait for my ship to come in, so I swam out to meet it!”

A dedicated family man, Ray supported the similarly passionate community involvement of his wife Gail. He loved the close company of his daughters, their husbands and six grandchildren, devoting himself to learning about and supporting their interests and pursuits, even when they diverged from his own. Holidays in Wilton and long vacations in Florida and Maine were action-packed fun and memories to be treasured. He extended his familial love to his Carriage Rd. neighbors and beyond. Above all, he was endlessly curious, energetic and positive, and proclaimed himself lucky more times than can be counted.

He is survived by Gail, his loving wife of 62 years; their daughters and spouses: Meredith/Merrie (Todd Bolon) and Lisa Moskow (Dan Wilga) and six grandchildren: Henry/Hank Moskow Bolon (Kaitlyn), Nathaniel/Nate Howard Bolon, Calvin Jeremy Bolon, Roxane Lisa Bolon, Alexander/Alex Aramis Wilga and Scarlet Meredith Moskow; and his many Moskow and Totman family nieces and nephews. 

Ray’s ashes will be interred in Gail’s family plot in the Pine Grove Cemetery in Conway MA on what would have been his 93rd birthday on Oct. 24. The family welcomes all to celebrate his life on Dec. 20 4 p.m. at Silver Spring Country Club in Ridgefield. 

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Kiwanis Club of Wilton or the Wilton Family Y.

Editor’s note: I was privileged to have known Ray Moskow, and consider Ray and Gail as friends. They both wowed me with their dynamic personalities and endless devotion to the organizations they supported and the causes in which they believed. Whether it was speaking at Town Meetings as seniors in favor of budget increases for Wilton’s schools long after their children had graduated or standing for hours at the Kiwanis pumpkin patch, they taught me by example what it means to be of service to the community and to do so selflessly.

I was the recipient of many of Ray’s emailed notes and musings, and was fortunate that he was a fan of GOOD Morning Wilton. I was thrilled to get one such email thanking me after Ray and Gail were able to watch our live coverage of some Wilton event from their vacation home in Maine. But one of my fondest memories was of the tour Ray gave me for our story on his cactus collection, the joy he shared as he told me about his prized 300-plus cacti — where he got them, what varieties they were and more. When I helped him ‘rehome’ those beloved cacti before his recent move by spreading the news that he was looking for people to adopt them, I loved hearing from all the people that responded and met Ray at his home, relating how they were captivated by his indomitable spirit and joy after just one interaction with him. Along with Gail, Ray set the bar high for demonstrating what it means to be a member of a community through longterm involvement and positive contributions. I will certainly miss him.