Wilton HS Seniors Organize to Choose Very Special Prom Queen [VIDEO]

We’ve all heard the Fairfield County stereotypes about our privileged, over-indulged kids. Wilton, CT kids are just into themselves, their possessions and living a cushy life. They only think of themselves.

But here’s one story that proves the stereotype couldn’t be further from the truth.

Take the case of Saturday evening’s WHS senior prom. Wilton students danced the night away at their magical capper to senior year. New for 2014, the students were to elect a prom king and queen. Senior Nicole Berg had an idea about making the night especially magical for her classmate, Kate Ukropina, who has special needs since being born with cerebral palsy and cognitive delays.

“I just thought about how great it would be if Kate could be Queen,” Nicole said.

Originally, Nicole had tried to get Kate chosen as Homecoming Queen back in the fall. She’d checked in with Kate’s mom, Kimber Felton, to see if it was okay to do so. She started spreading the word, trying to get more kids to join the idea. Despite her best intentions, however, the class chose someone else. “There were some naysayers, who called it a ‘charity case,’ and said it wouldn’t be her if she didn’t have special needs. I didn’t think of it like that–it was just doing an amazing thing for an amazing person.”

For Nicole, her motivation wasn’t because of Kate’s special needs at all.

“Kate has always valued acceptance from her peers. She’s always tried to be part of every social group and is very friendly. She’s always the first person to congratulate someone, on even the smallest thing–if she overhears you did well on a test, she’ll come over and give you a hug, because she’s so happy for you. She’s just the most kind-hearted person. Everyone knows her, not because of her special needs, but because she’s so friendly,” Nicole explained.

Undeterred when it came time to think about Prom King and Queen in May, Nicole posted something on the closed Facebook page for WHS seniors, asking people to consider writing in Kate’s name as their queen. “How great would it be, if she got this. It would be an amazing gift, and we all know she would love it. Everyone who knows Kate, loves her.”

But she was worried the same thing that had happened at Homecoming would happen again–that even though people promised to write in Kate’s name, they wouldn’t. So Nicole worked hard to get as many people to band together to make Kate’s prom incredibly memorable.

“I was just crossing my fingers, I was so nervous and hoping she would get it,” Nicole said.

Kate was unaware that all of this campaigning was going on. She wasn’t a part of the WHS Seniors Facebook group so the effort was able to pick up some steam.

As for Kate’s mom, Kimber, she tried to remain above the fray, saying, “”If it happens, it happens. we’re not telling Kate.” She just focused on getting Kate ready for prom.

“The neatest thing about it was it was like planning prom for a typical kid,” Kimber said. “Kate tried on some dresses we borrowed from a friend and they were all too sleek and sexy, and just a bit much. So I called Nordstrom, and talked to Tina Howard, a personal shopper there. We took a day off from school. There was a beautiful peach colored dress, and she looked incredibly sophisticated, but it was long and I was worried Kate would trip, if it’s tight, and she has cerebral palsy–Tina looked at me, and said ‘I have the dress,’ a hot pink Kate Spade beautiful dress that was perfect. She was stunning. And I wasn’t a mom with a kid with special needs–I was simply a mom with her kid.”

Finding shoes took some work too–they needed to be comfortable, match her dress and look appropriately special, as well as helping Kate keep her balance without braces.. They found the right ones, Keen pink tennis shoes in the exact color of the dress. It was at that point that Kate looked at her mom and said,  “I need pink hair.” Kimber’s response:  “Yes, you do.”

Kate was asked to go to prom with two friends, Maddie Gillespie and Carter Vail, juniors who are very involved in Best Buddies, a student club that fosters friendship between special needs and typical high school students. As the organization’s website states, it helps “participants cross the invisible line that too often separates those with disabilities from those without…”

With help from the Wilton Family Y’s special needs coordinator Chris Foley and Kelsey Ettinger, Kate started getting prepped to go on Saturday. “It was how prom should be, with people fussing all over you,” Kimber recalls. “People putting makeup on her, everyone was focused on Kate to get her ready. She’s more a jeans and t-shirt kid who got transformed, and she is a beautiful lady with gorgeous brown eyes and a look that there’s more there.”

Kimber describes the time before prom as something like a party–Maddie’s parents came over too, and along with Kate’s younger brother and sister–Mitchell and Alex–they celebrated as Kate, Maddie and Carter posed for the requisite pre-prom pictures of the sort that populated Facebook all weekend.

And then off to prom the high schoolers went, leaving the grown-ups at home.

Maddie described the time at prom as amazing. “Just to see Kate’s face light up. She was so happy to see everyone and everyone was happy to see her. She’s so social–sometimes she danced with Carter and me, sometimes she would dance with other people and we kind of hung back. She was having so much fun, dancing away. It’s a really good feeling to know she had a good time.”

A little time later, Kimber’s cell phone suddenly pinged. It was a text and a picture, from Nicole Berg.

Kate had been chosen Prom Queen.

“I thought, ‘Holy sh*t!’ I couldn’t believe it,” Kimber recalls with a laugh. “I thought Kate must be off the charts excited and happy. All I could think was that Kate was up on stage going ‘whoo-hoo’ and ecstatic. And there’s the video of her onstage going ‘whoo-hoo’! I heard kids chanting for her. I can’t even articulate what that means.”

Nicole also teared up at the prom when Kate’s name was announced. “I was so happy that it worked out. Especially to see her up there, she threw her arms in the air. It was exactly what I hoped her reaction would be. I was afraid Kimber had been so disappointed when it didn’t work out at Homecoming, so I was so happy for both Kate and Kimber, for them both to have that memory.”

She’s also thrilled that it was a collective effort, and she insists the credit is due for the whole class. “I”m so happy that everyone was able to find it in themselves to do that. I was so happy for the class to come together on this one big thing, and all of us give her something amazing. I’m so happy to be part of this.”

It’s that gesture that moves Kimber, “These kids, they’re the ones. It’s so cool that these kids made it happen. That Wilton can create a community of kids like this is just awesome. What they’ve accomplished, the selflessness about it. We hear about these selfish kids, and these kids are not selfish. They give their time and energy, it just makes me so happy. It’s not that she’s prom queen that makes it so amazing; what makes it so amazing is that these kids did it. I couldn’t care less that my kid is prom queen; what I really care about is that all these kids did it for her.”

For Carter, it’s that kind of group effort that’s at the heart of the Best Buddies’ mission–not only fostering the friendships but also setting an example so that the message of compassion and kindness spreads to everyone. The fact that the majority of the class made sure Kate would have winning prom queen as a memory to treasure is the ultimate goal. “It’s exactly that. The fact that it happened like that, that everyone was chanting her name, makes it so rewarding. It was just fantastic. It was one of the greatest nights I’ve ever had,” he said.

Kimber agrees. “I think it was incredible. Most of the people got together, it meant so much, something she will carry with her I’m just so happy, so happy.”

And it’s the close friends who have changed Kate’s life and given her a huge gift, just for accepting her for who she is and being her friends. “They all make Kate who she is, they’ve had a huge impact on her life. They see her for who she is, appreciating all her idiosyncrasies,” Kimber says.

For a mother, there’s nothing better.

“It makes my heart sing.”

Think Kate’s Saturday night was amazing? Read Part II of our story on Kate Ukropina’s amazing experience, as we talk about her success at the CT Special Olympics on the Sunday after prom–and the great team of WHS student volunteers who help get the Special Olympic athletes ready for their big day. That’s tomorrow!