Lindsay Wheeler has contributed to GOOD Morning Wilton in the past, openly and honestly sharing her story of living with a mental illness. The Wilton High School graduate (Class of 2010) is a writer and mental health advocate who now lives in New York City. She wrote this piece for last week’s National Suicide Prevention Week (Sept. 10-16) and has graciously allowed GMW to publish it. To learn more about her writing, visit her website; to follow her journey, visit her blog.
It has been nearly four years since I shared publicly what now looks like a timid, only “half-transparent” paragraph about my mental illness. I still don’t know why I did it at that very moment but the truth is, I was scared out of my mind. At the time, I couldn’t have anticipated the response that would come, one which has only persisted. Our society has come a long way in just a few years; I’ve seen visibility around these issues swell tremendously. Years ago, a tribute to suicide awareness would have had no chance of being included at the Grammys. This year it was. But still, a potential for more is revealed around every next corner.
Now, hundreds of writings later, I am more fearless in this pursuit than ever. During World Suicide Prevention Week, I am grateful for my amazing support system. I have both the network and resources to not only survive mental illness but to document the fight. I am inundated with encouragement every day by loved ones and strangers alike and, despite a few difficult bumps, believe I’ve made them proud.
Nearly all of my relationships have improved and incredible opportunities have presented themselves along the way. I have experienced the magic of attending the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) National Convention in Washington D.C.; written for The Mighty; lobbied on Capitol Hill (note: a new bipartisan House Suicide Prevention Task Force was just announced by Congressman John Katko); met psych visionaries like Kay Redfield Jamison; been asked to speak at a NAMI conference and, for my alma mater’s “The Resilience Project,” attended the DNC’s LGBT Gala; been involved in courageous initiatives like Zak Sandler’s A Bit Too Much About Me at The Triad Theater; and gotten to know advocates who fight on behalf of incarcerated individuals with mental illness (Ron Powers).
There is so much more to be learned though, and it gives me something to look forward to every day. Ultimately, I hope to go in the direction of psychotherapy and psychiatry; still, the purest form of love I have will always be writing. The faculties we have to live authentically can propel us forward, but not everyone has equal opportunity to use them.
Across age groups, the suicide rate has increased every year since 1999. It is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. The suicides of high profile individuals have sparked recent conversation, but it has come too late. Days before [Linkin Park lead singer] Chester Bennington’s suicide, he was captured smiling in a photo with his family. His wife has shared the picture publicly in order to raise awareness about what is often the driving message: even those who battle the hardest demons may hide behind a smile. As long as the order of things goes unchallenged, the problem will persist.
I promise to always try my best to fight for those who are not as fortunate as I. I never take for granted the inspiring stories you’ve shared with me. To those still hiding in the shadows, I hope you’ll believe me when I say there is room for you out here in the light. It can get better for you just like it has for me.
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800.273.TALK (1-800.273.8255).