“This Is Wilton’s Wake Up Call” Says Former Resident

To the Editor:

My family moved to Wilton in 2001 where we lived until this past July. My wife, Kellianne, and I have four children who each attended Wilton schools (K-12). We met many wonderful people and made life-long friendships and memories on our street (shout out to Washington Post Dr.) and throughout town during our 16 years in Wilton. We were much like other active parents in town:  we may have coached one of your children in a sport, taught them CCD/religious education, led a scout troop, served on a committee with you or even sat shoulder to shoulder with you at the Memorial Day Parade. Like so many of you, we were invested in the success of Wilton–our family’s hometown community.

Even before the most recent events made headlines, a change in Wilton has been brewing. Despite the bucolic setting, the phenomenal quality of the schools and the abundance of resources that most other places in this country can only dream to have, a sense of community is disappearing. While there are a number of reasons as to why, I can assure you that not one of them start with the POTUS, the Governor, the Board of Selectmen, the superintendent, principals, athletic director or anyone else involved in the town administration.

I know, it’s easy to be distracted by cheery social media posts, snarky comments on Facebook pages, high test scores or glowing lists about what everyone loves most about Wilton so as not to think anything is seriously wrong. But Wilton, it is time to wake up.  The attributes that once made a strong, truly rich, community have been in decline in the 06897 for some time. Traits like civility, respect, tolerance, gratitude, intellectual discussion (and constructive disagreement), community pride and civic spirit have largely given way to an ugly undercurrent of self-entitlement, ignorance, and anger. The troubling headlines currently emanating from town regarding hate speak from children in the schools and parental over exuberance and violence on the sports sidelines (yes folks, those stories do reach people outside of the bubble–the cat is out of the bag!) are just symptoms of a decay that has been taking root over time.

With a bit of perspective achieved from having lived elsewhere for a few months, I am here to report that what you are experiencing is not normal. Of course, no community is perfect. Kids behave badly and parents get fired up at sporting events everywhere. Yet, there are still places where it is common for people to actually stop their cars when they see pedestrians looking to cross a busy street…even when they are not in a crosswalk. There are villages where it is normal for people to chat with strangers in an aisle of a grocery store about random topics of the day…for no other reason than to just to be friendly. There are towns that place high expectations on education while also holding their children accountable…and without feeling entitled to blame educators or administrators when things do not go their way. There are neighborhoods that hold in high regard a sense of authenticity, accountability, graciousness and empathy…more so than the make of car that you or your kids drive. The places I describe understand and embrace that these are all among the values that form the foundation upon which strong communities stand–and upon which they also lean when times are tough.

Don’t get me wrong–these ideals are not completely missing in Wilton. But you do have to seek them out. The failure to put simple community values ahead of self-interest seems to be a growing collective choice, and it is both discouraging and disappointing. It’s like seeing someone with great talent who is capable of achieving success waste their potential. It was (and now is, from afar) hard to watch.

So, Wilton, here you are. Even if you and your family consider yourselves among the many “good ones” in town, what has transpired has drawn a spotlight that reflects poorly on the entire community. Will you continue to shrug in complicit acceptance? Are you going to turn a blind eye to the ignorance, hate and anger on full display in your schools, on sports sidelines, on social media and now in the news? Are you going to take accountability for how your words and actions, and those of your neighbors, influence your children and contribute to the harmony of the community? Will you simply blame a divided nation, politicians, educators, town administrators or someone else? Or will you decide to cast the outrage aside, take a good look in the mirror and do something meaningful beyond sharing a hashtag or a Facebook profile pic change? This is your wake up call, Wilton. You are educated, accomplished, and resourceful. You have so many reasons to be grateful for the community that was built before you arrived and the strong, successful community that you can be in the future.  You are better than this.

Forever A Friend and Fan,

David A. Frankel
Formerly Washington Post Drive
Currently Scituate, MA