On Tuesday morning, April 23, a video started making the rounds among students at Wilton High School. That video showed about one minute of texts messages allegedly exchanged between a group of Wilton students on a social media platform. Many of the texts were racist hate speech and used bullying language, all seemingly directed at primarily one specific student. News about the video spread quickly among the students and the video was widely shared. The letter below was submitted by Poppy Herve, a WHS senior who said she was so angered after watching the video that she was motivated to speak out publicly, and that she couldn’t stay silent or do nothing. GOOD Morning Wilton has verified the existence of the video and has also included a message WHS Principal Dr. Robert O’Donnell sent to the school community acknowledging an incident and noting that school officials are conducting an investigation. [Disclosure: the author of the letter below is the daughter of GMW’s editor/publisher.]
To the Editor:
The first thing I heard about when I parked in the Wilton High School senior lot Tuesday morning was that a video was circulating widely on social media showing WHS students making racist comments targeted towards another student. It was a video recording of a conversation in a group text chat, showing text interchanges among a small group of students — and everyone was talking about it.
I asked someone to show me the video, expecting it would show maybe 10 seconds of texts. Instead, I stood in the hallway, watching more than one minute of footage showing the most sickening words I may have ever seen. These comments, which make me too nauseous to repeat, contained a number of slurs and hateful stereotypes — the N-word, references to whipping, cotton-picking and many more. I couldn’t hear the conversation around me as I could only focus on the feeling of bile rising in my throat.
My first reaction was shock, as I couldn’t believe that Wilton HS students, let alone anybody, would ever say those things. What enraged me the most about this situation was the fact that these students were laughing as they sent the texts, thinking it was somehow funny. As this sunk in, I wondered why anyone would think this is okay, that it’s funny, that it won’t hurt anybody. I wondered why any of the people involved in the numerous other similar events that have happened in the Wilton School district in the past would think that their actions are justified. I wondered why my classmates were looking at the video as if it’s nothing that should concern them, that there’s nothing they should do about it, justifying it and laughing it off because “they were clearly joking.”
The truth is that most students don’t understand the effects of this situation and what it means. Students don’t know the reality of anything happening outside of our Wilton “bubble”, and this saddens and angers me. People honestly wonder why these acts of hate keep happening within our school district…
I believe that the schools — administrators and teachers — need to play a bigger part in teaching us the consequences of our actions. I would not be surprised if some students never hear about this incident because they are not on social media or because no one has shown them the video. And If they do hear, whether that be from a school newsletter informing families of “a recent event” or from overhearing rumors in the hallways, they will never know of the full extent of this situation before it is likely swept under the rug and forgotten about until the next time. From my perspective, it feels that the school does their best to protect the innocence and sensitivity of their students, often only releasing a carefully-crafted message that tells us only the bare minimum and nothing of reality. We may hear a short announcement in the morning or receive an email expressing the school’s support to anyone affected by this situation. Yet, this does nothing to address the underlying issue feeding into these incidents. I want the adults in the school to be open and real with us, to communicate directly with the student body. To make us sit up and listen.
When I was at Middlebrook Middle School, there were specific incidents involving antisemitic words and swastikas found on school property. Immediately after one such event, the entire school was called into an assembly, where an administrator stood on stage and told everyone what had happened. I remember that day so vividly; what I felt, saw, and heard. As a Jewish student, I felt targeted and vulnerable; I was terrified. I cried in front of my classmates. I heard other students, Jewish as well as non-Jews, crying along with me. I had never seen an act of hate like that in person before. I had only heard of stories and seen pictures of swastikas in books. It is not until you witness it, come so close to it, that you truly understand the severity of discrimination.
More recently, I attended an organized rally for Israel at Cornell University. I was surrounded by a community of Jews, Israelis, and fellow supporters. The impact of the first speaker’s words on me and the crowd was nothing I was prepared for. He spoke, clearly and with a strong voice, about the morbidity of the conflict between Israel and Hamas. He described with vivid detail, the things that were happening to men, women, and children in Israel and Gaza; things such as rape, trafficking, abuse, kidnapping, and many more unimaginable things. I felt sick, uncomfortable, and angry when listening to his speech. I have seen the news, read articles, and heard a few stories, yet none made me feel as strong as I did at that rally. Nothing else had been written or spoken with such rawness. I will never think about this conflict again without remembering his words–because the words paired with the vile, gut-wrenching feeling are now ingrained into me.
My past experiences have shown me that students need to be spoken to. Not written to, not read to, but given a chance to listen to and hear the reality. It needs to be unavoidable. Many students are ignorant about certain matters as they tune out of discussions unpacking tough situations like this or don’t read a news article because it doesn’t concern them. I am guilty of this as well; I am scared to read and learn about the many things happening to Jews around the world and I have been avoiding any conversation about it for as long as I can, wanting to protect myself. However, when I was forced to listen to the Middlebrook administration and the rally speaker, I had no choice but to open my eyes.
Students need to experience these feelings. We need to face feeling uncomfortable to truly understand. High school is where we need to learn. This is where the foundations of our beliefs are solidified before we are let out into the world, no longer protected by the safety of the bubble. Upon learning about the types of discrimination in our world and even in our community — against Black people, the LGBTQ+ community, people with special needs or disabilities, Asians, Jews, and many others — students will finally come to understand that it isn’t a joke. The things they may have found funny are actually hateful and hurtful. They may finally understand how it feels to be a target of such hate.
So, this is not just about what happened today, but a combination of many events that contribute to the mindset of Wilton students. People question why this continues to happen here in Wilton, such a safe, accepting, friendly community.
Why? Because we are never taught the reality and its impact — so how can we learn to speak up and stop it from happening again?
Poppy Herve
Wilton High School
Class of 2024
Message from WHS Principal Dr. Robert O’Donnell to the WHS Community [sent Tuesday, April 23 at 7:20 p.m.]:
Dear Wilton High School Community,
Over the course of this morning and throughout the day today, the Wilton High School administrative team has been investigating allegations that raise serious concerns. We were deeply disturbed and saddened to receive reports of recent hate-based conduct, race-based bullying, and protected-class harassment through social media. Our investigative findings thus far reveal that this conduct in question occurred off school grounds outside of the school day during the spring recess. This matter is multilayered and nuanced and is currently under investigation. Although we are moving concertedly to ascertain the facts, we feel it is important to communicate with families and staff at this time.
Please know that we take these matters extremely seriously and will not tolerate hate-based conduct, bullying, or harassment of any kind. Our school community must be a welcoming, safe, and inclusive environment for all, and we thoroughly investigate reports of behavior that compromises the safety and well-being of our students. While federal student privacy laws prevent us from sharing specific information about individual incidents, it is important for you to know that when we investigate incidents, we consider all applicable laws, Board of Education policies, and our code of conduct. We also regularly partner with law enforcement. Responses to behaviors that violate Board policies, the law, or our code of conduct include both disciplinary and restorative measures, and we also implement supportive measures for those directly involved.
While there are many steps we, as an administrative team, take to address serious allegations, we cannot do this important work alone. In this case, we received multiple reports from students and adults, and we are grateful that members of our school community are speaking out when they are concerned about behaviors that may negatively impact our school. We ask for the continued partnership of these individuals and of all of our students, staff, and parents. Anyone who becomes aware of concerning behavior should report this information immediately to a school administrator or a trusted adult in the building. In addition, reports can be made to our SpeakUp Cybertip Hotline via email: speakup@wiltonps.org or by calling or texting (203) 514-0531. Parents, it is imperative that you support your children in developing the digital citizenship skills that enable them to use social media responsibly and partner with us by monitoring the use of your children’s social media applications. If adolescents have unfettered, unsupervised access to social media, these incidents will continue to occur, offend other students and adults, and seriously disrupt our educational environment. Thank you for your support in helping to maintain a safe environment for all of our Wilton students.
We recognize that there may be students who are deeply impacted or disturbed by the reports of this incident that may be circulating within the community. Know that school counselors, social workers, and psychologists are available to assist students and families who may want support at this time.
We must continue the strong partnership between our schools, families, and community in an effort to be proactive and prevent future incidents of this nature.
Sincerely,
Robert William O’Donnell, Ed.D.
Wilton High School Principal
Amen and thank you, Poppy.
My freshman granddaughter told me about this incident. She was appalled and disgusted. She knows all the participants and had no idea they could be so hateful. We spoke at length about the situation but this is something she will never forget. We talked about loving our neighbor as ourself , the power of words and the need for kindness first. There are valuable lessons to be learned from this extremely upsetting incident. But we both agreed it is important to know why these girls did what they did and what consequences were appropriate.
Poppy, I commend you on this incredibly well-written and spot-on letter. You are speaking the truth of the matter and I so appreciate you bravely putting this out there for our town. This situation is unacceptable and deplorable. Hate should not be tolerated in any form. I am also saddened to see the way our town, a predominantly white and affluent town, is choosing to handle these incidents in a way that does not address the root of the issue. I grew up in this town and know there are many smart, well-intentioned people who will not tolerate this behavior. It’s time for us all to speak up. Know that there are adults in this town who support you wholeheartedly and are willing to stand beside you.
maria shepard.
Well said Lindsay Wyman .
This is beautifully written, thank you Poppy for speaking up against the hate that seems to by perpetuated by WHS students and tolerated by the administration. It saddens me to see that a town of such privilege allows such nauseating talk to be normalized and dismissed, so thank you for not sitting idly by in silence.
I once asked an administrative leader of one of the Wilton schools why they do not call out and involve the parents of the offenders. ( I have several examples from past years.) The answer was, “we try, but my hands are tied, the parents are the same way, and they will turn it back on the school.”
Do I think the schools should do more? Yes, because they need to pick up the slack for the parents that demonstrate this behavior themselves and refuse to discipline, choosing to look the other way for whatever reason serves them.
Thank you Poppy for having the courage to speak up, it’s people like you that will raise the vibration of our planet, collectively we need to do way better.
What a well-worded and thoughtful commentary! I think it is time that the school includes all students in a forthright and frank discussion, letting them know that this will not be tolerated.
Well written Poppy. I have 2 children in this school district. My hope is that the administrators at Wilton High take the right and appropriate course of action and enforce real consequences to the offenders. This type of bullying and hate speech should not be tolerated in our town and our school system. We are better than this.
Poppy, thank you for sharing your experience. There are many actions the Board of Education and the school can implement. I hope that they will make the disciplinary and restorative measures public so that students who may be tempted to engage in hate speech and harassment will know what the repercussions will be. It’s too easy to hide behind the perceived anonymity of social media use. I don’t merely mean the use of pseudonyms (though at least one of the perpetrators used a real name). Social media apps are typically unmonitored by parents; that’s why they are so appealing to teens. I’m not suggesting we need to put metaphorical training wheels on social media or ban it outright. But there is a pervasive lack of ownership of bad behavior in this generation. As people used to say when I was a teen, “You do the crime, you do the time”. We MUST demand accountability of these students.
As Dr. O’Donnell wrote, this situation is nuanced. We should not be too quick to assume faulty parenting is the source. I cannot presume to know what’s in the hearts of these students and their families. If either of my children were involved in a scenario like this, I would feel a powerful shame. This community needs transparency about the outcomes and concrete accountability. Without these remedies, the shame is on all of us.
There’s nothing nuanced about this situation. This was a brazen and overtly racist attack. It’s so disappointing to hear Dr. O’Donnell calling it a “nuanced” and “multilayered” situation. It makes it sound like there are somehow two sides. That somehow this kind of behavior could be excusable depending on the context. This sort of behavior is NEVER okay. Suggesting otherwise is a true failure to protect students of color.