Wilton resident and GMW.com friend Jennifer Lewis celebrated an unusual anniversary this week, and we asked her to put the experience in her own words. We knew her spirit and strength would be something everyone would find inspiring and refreshing. She wrote it on the actual anniversary, March 19. We’re honored she agreed to share it with everyone. (And of course, no better accompaniment than an image from Moments by Andrea Photography.)
CANCER SUCKS! There is no other way to put it. There is nothing that can prepare you for those three awful words, “You Have Cancer.” Four years ago this week I heard those words.
But today, I am celebrating that awful day. Some may wonder why anyone would want to memorialize that day or celebrate it for that matter. At the time, I certainly was not thinking about any sort of celebration, that is for sure. The reason I choose to celebrate that day is like any other special day – a graduation, your wedding day, the birth of a child or even a divorce; it signifies a new chapter in my life. Little did I know that this chapter would turn into such an amazingly wonderful journey.
I remember quite vividly pacing back and forth in my front yard that day with a HUGE pit in my stomach, trying to answer all the questions that were running through my head. Of course, some portions of the journey I would prefer not to remember–like the multiple surgeries, the rounds of chemo, the nausea, the countless number of blood draws, the doctor appointments, the broken ankle thrown in there, the list goes on. As much as I would like to forget the “not so good parts,” that is what makes the good, really good! I would not say cancer or being a cancer survivor defines me, but it certainly has shaped what my life has evolved into.
People ask me all the time if I have a different perspective on life now or appreciate things more. Most definitely I do, as would anyone who has had a significant event happen in their life. I do stop and smell the flowers more, watch the amazing sunsets more, and acknowledge special experiences more. I do adore my husband and children for that extra minute as well. I have learned that a sense of humor can make a difficult situation better. I also learned I have some unbelievably awesome friends and have been blessed with some new friends along the way. Those who know me know that I LOVE to check things off my bucket-list now as well. I thoroughly enjoy taking on new challenges that I would never have considered prior to my illness. Most of the time I try not to sweat the small stuff and my family is busier than I would like, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s still all REALLY GOOD!
On that horrific day four years ago, as I paced in my front yard well into the night, I looked up in the sky and I saw a shooting star. I will never forget that star. I saw that as a sign that I was going to be okay. So when I start to “freak out” before my follow-up check-ups or wonder if the cancer will come back, I try and remember that shooting star. Most importantly, I focus on all the positive things that have come out of a challenging situation.
This morning I gave myself a token gift, a bouquet of orange flowers. The orange ribbon is the color for appendiceal cancer awareness. When I was going through “my stuff,” my friends bought me everything orange. You name it, we had orange bracelets, necklaces, t-shirts, underwear, etc. I always honor this day with orange flowers and I even bought myself an orange North Face vest today! I’m sentimental like that. It may be kind of corny but it makes me smile!
So today, March 19, and for many years to come (orange flowers each and every one) , I celebrate the gifts I have received and the ones I continue to receive as a result of that awful day. It’s a tough price to pay for all that I gained and learned, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything!