“You Can Do It, Joe!” What I’ve Learned with Autism

We’ve recently launched a campaign called “No Place for Hate.” As part of that effort we’ll be featuring individuals and organizations that promote awareness about the variety and differences of our community; who do more to advance understanding and compassion; and that engage members of the community in active kindness towards others.

Today, we’re featuring an honest and brave essay from Joe Sylvia, a 16-year-old junior at Wilton High School. His words are more profound than anything we could ever write to give people a glimpse at what it’s like for him to live with autism. We hope his courageous step of letting us reprint this essay helps foster understanding for the many ways people experience the world.

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“Joe, are you paying attention?”

This has been a frequent question asked in my high school years. If I am not paying attention, it is usually because I am either whisper scripting, being distracted by some of the other members of the class who are speaking to one another or my mind is moving. My mind moves very fast, meaning that it only wants to stay on one topic for a short period of time.

One class my mind always stays focused on is math. I love numbers. I always have been fascinated with numbers, especially the number two. What makes me different from a lot of students is that I can write down the math problems and answer them correctly, usually not using a calculator. I am a junior at a public high school and I have autism. I was diagnosed with autism not long after I was born. Autism has affected my social skills and my school experience.

Social skills are what help people communicate and get closer to having relationships with others. For me, it is improving little by little. When elementary school began, I had trouble communicating with other students. From then until the end of eighth grade I had been interacting more with staff than I had with other students. I think that was because of several reasons, such as needing help with work and not trusting other students. The teachers knew more about the assignments than the students and offered more help.

I felt uncomfortable and nervous chatting with other people because I felt that I could not trust them even though I probably knew that I could. I did not try to be friends with anyone.

Here is what changed it. When I was in one of my PE classes, in the end of eighth grade I struggled with going on a tightrope course. I felt nervous on the tightrope and did not think I could make it to the end. I heard students around me cheering, “You can do it, Joe!” I kept going on and on and felt motivated. I kind of imagined that I was playing football and cheerleaders were cheering me on. Yes, it was the students and the teacher that cheered me on.

Because of that, I completed the course and broke a record on it. I learned that other students can be supportive and that maybe they were not so hard to get along with, and that I should not he around staff too much.

Since then, I have changed. I have met new people and I am very active in the community. I am part of a club called the Top Inclusion Models, which helps out with people dealing with autism in all of the Wilton Public Schools. I am also one of the original players in a club called Top Soccer, which helps children with autism, ages 3-16, play soccer and get along with others. I have worked with children with different types of autism. We try to help children with autism get involved with dancing, sports, gymnastics, and arts and crafts. I have learned how to help children with autism get along with other people by doing these things.

I have come a long way with autism. It has not been easy during my elementary and middle school years, because I struggled to make friends. Since the end of eighth grade, I have been getting along with children around my age. I have improved with friendships through my high school career. Both clubs that I am involved with have helped me use tools I use every day, like work with other people, communicate appropriately to other people, and make other people proud, and myself too.