Editor’s note: the author of this letter appeared at the Board of Selectmen meeting on Monday, Nov. 4, and delivered a shorter version of this letter as a statement during public comments.
To the Editor:
I am a proud Wilton Jew and it’s time I talk publicly about Antisemitism, hatred directed at the Jews. I want to share the good and the bad about Wilton (and the world at large) that both exist. I’m sorry this is long, but I want to give context for who I am and why this matters to me here and now. I wrote this on Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement, as it is a day for reflection, and my hope is that we can all understand each other better. This past year has been devastating for me and for the Jewish community at large and yet there has also been hope and kindness shown here in Wilton amidst the darkness. I hope you learn something from my reflection on the emotional rollercoaster of the past year.
Who Am I?
I am a Wiltonian, a Jew, a Zionist, an atheist, a liberal, an American, a husband, a father, a brother and a son. I am the sum of my experiences, beliefs and values. But more than that, I am human and a person like everyone else.
I have many identities and facets, like everyone. I’m a Wiltonian who moved here with my wife, before having kids, to raise a family and provide a good education for my children. I’ve enjoyed watching my kids grow and thrive here. I fought for our schools with “Hands Off Our Schools,” I attend our Annual Town Meeting, patronize our farmers’ market and am proud to call Wilton my home.
I am a Zionist who believes the Jewish people must have a right to self-determination and must have a homeland to take us when nobody else will. I have read my history and know that in the 1930s and ’40s when the Jews of Europe were wiped out during the Holocaust, the U.S. refused to let Jews in. In my people’s greatest time of need we had nowhere to go. Six million died, one-third of all world Jews. “Never Again” means I will defend Israel so that next time there is a place for Jews to flee from genocide.
I am also proud to be a Jewish atheist who belongs to a conservative Temple, Congregation Beth El, in Norwalk. I may not believe in God, but I believe in having community and knowing right from wrong. My Jewish heritage and background are important to me and I believe in the Jewish values of education, Tzedakah (justice and charity), and Tikun Olam (repairing/making a better world). I was raised with and have passed on to my children core Jewish values like the Rabbi Hillel quote: “If I am not for myself who will be for me? If I am only for myself what am I? and If not now when?” These values have driven me to write and share my story and views today. I understand Jews have sadly always faced persecution and it is always a matter of when, not if, the next time will be. Also, I want my children to know who they are and that they are part of a community no matter what happens in the world. I want them to be instilled with the Jewish version of the golden rule: “Don’t do unto others as you would not want done unto thyself” — or to put it another way, live and let live, respect others’ rights and customs, and expect the same.
I am a liberal who believes in equal rights for all. I look forward to the day when discrimination will be no more. I listened to Black Lives Matter and am devastated by the senseless racism in this country. I support LGBTQ+ rights. I am scared for my daughter’s future in a post-Roe world.
I am an American proud to be born in a country that, although far from perfect, stands out as a light among nations as a democracy where minorities have their rights protected. A place where my family fled to when escaping from persecution in Eastern Europe with nothing to their name but who were able to build a life and a better chance for their children and grandchildren.
Some of the Tragedies of the Past Year
Last year on Oct. 7, 2023, my beliefs were shattered. Israel, the birth country of my wife, my people’s ancestral home, the one place that was supposed to be safe for Jews when the world next turned against us, was brutally attacked. Hamas, a brutal extreme Islamist terrorist organization, killed 1,200 Israelis and then kidnapped over 250 more. Population-wise for Israel, it would equate to 50,000 people killed on 9/11… except with the ongoing pain of hostages and missiles raining down on every city for days, weeks, months, and now a full year and counting. Just picture living in Wilton and hiding in your basement hours a day for a year. My children get texts and videos from their Israeli cousin of missiles in the sky and damage next to his home.
Then, while still fighting active terrorists within their borders, before Israel even lifted a finger in response, protests broke out across the U.S. in cities and on college campuses with vile chants such as, “Glory to the Martyrs” and “Long Live Jihad.” Hundreds of thousands of people poured into the streets and campuses at my people’s darkest hour to say, “Go back to Poland!” or “Israel is illegitimate.” This was in the immediate aftermath of the worst pogrom (Antisemitic mob attack) since the extermination of six million Jews in the Holocaust, which is still within living memory. It felt like the world wanted the destruction of Israel and told Jews they are not safe in any other country either. The past year has seen a massive spike in Antisemitism across the Western world in the U.S., France, the U.K., Germany, the Netherlands and even Canada.
I now wonder, am I safe here? At least in Israel they know who their enemies are as opposed to in this country where it could be my neighbors that want me dead or gone. I always knew there were neo-nazis on the far-right, but I never imagined that the left could harbor so much Antisemitic hatred too. I never dreamed groups I thought were allies would be marching for the destruction of Israel. Do they not know Israel is a democracy, unlike its neighbors? Do they not realize that the Jews originate from Israel and it is their ancient homeland? Watching the anti-Zionist (Antisemitic) progressive movement has rocked me to my core. Yes, I do feel for the innocent lives lost on both sides. I feel for the displaced Palestinians and I hope they can find a better set of leaders that will choose to value their people’s lives more than they want to destroy Israel.
Some Wilton-Style Hope from the Past Year
Luckily in Wilton, we had a better response. A truly moving interfaith community vigil was held at Temple B’nai Chaim a week after Oct. 7. Leaders from all faiths in town spoke meaningfully and movingly. I was proud that members of all faiths and types came out in our community. It was how the world should be — we all attend, comfort and offer help. I had attended numerous vigils supporting LGBTQ+ communities, Black Lives Matter, and the local Muslim community after the mosque shooting in New Zealand.
Last November, just a month after Oct. 7, Wilton held a vigil on the Town Green. We had blue ribbons in town and at the high school to symbolize the plea for the return of the hostages. Again, it was attended by all and made me grateful for the community I have chosen to call home.
I want to thank Peter Wrampe for his amazing and supportive interview in GMW. He showed me that there are decent people of all political stripes.
I want to thank Toni Boucher for her tireless work as First Selectman fighting against Antisemitism, and for making the Jews of Wilton feel both welcomed and safe. She has repeatedly risen to the occasion, from Oct. 7 to the recent issues at Wilton Library with the writer-in-residence. I appreciate she recently hosted a forum to fight the rising level of Antisemitism.
Sadly, Even in Wilton, We Have Issues
Unfortunately, here in town, we also have a backlash. Like many others in Wilton, I’ve had my Israeli flag yard sign stolen numerous times. There are individuals and organizations in Wilton and surrounding communities that have demanded a one-sided ceasefire from Israel, which is to say they side with Hamas winning all of its demands, even knowing that Hamas’ stated ultimate objective is to kill all Jews first in Israel and then the world. Peace can only be a two-way street, and until Hamas and Hezbollah recognize Israel’s fundamental right to exist there can be no lasting peace.
I was disturbed when in January our CT state representative was found to have made Antisemitic remarks.
Those blue ribbons I was so proud of, symbolizing the hope for the innocent hostages’ safe return — some were cut down by a member of the Wilton community.
Then our own library named an anti-Zionist writer-in-residence who refused to participate in a book festival panel in upstate NY because she didn’t like that the moderator was Zionist. If you want a quick check whether anti-Zionism is being used in an Antisemitic way, then try substituting ‘lesbian’ for ‘Zionist.’ If the writer-in-residence had said, ‘I refuse to be on a panel with a lesbian’ instead of a Zionist? That sounds pretty bad…. and gets to the point of how anti-Zionism is just a way of trying to hide and dress up the Antisemitism of the progressive movement today.
I was relieved when the library reversed its decision after pressure from the community, but also I was disheartened to hear the comments made at the next Board of Selectmen meeting. Let me be clear: anti-Zionism is Antisemitism. Anti-Zionism is a dog whistle for Antisemitism. Zionism is part of Judaism. We pray every year at Passover, “Next year in Jerusalem,” and the Torah is filled with references to Israel as the birthplace of our people.
Antisemitism Today
Today’s Antisemitism is different from the Antisemitism of my youth. It is no longer just walking into my high school bathroom to find giant swastikas painted on the walls. It is closer to the Antisemitism my parents faced where they could not move into some towns or belong to certain Fairfield County country clubs, yet it goes far beyond that today. Today it affects college campuses, progressive spaces, the ability to safely take subways or walk down the street in New York City while wearing a Star of David around my neck. It forces my Temple to spend tens of thousands of dollars in hiring off-duty police officers so we can gather safely, be it for prayer or preschool. It’s a reality most churches in this country have never had to confront in a country built on the bedrock of freedom to practice religion.
Anti-Zionism is the new wave of Antisemitism. It can be best summed up by three Ds: demonization, delegitimization and double standards. When criticism of Israel demonizes its people or the Jews then that is Antisemitism. Calling for the destruction of Israel or claiming that it is a settler colonial enterprise is delegitimization and also Antisemitism. And finally, holding Israel to an impossible standard that no other country is held to is Antisemitism. To deny Israel the right to self-defense and self-determination when surrounded by enemies actively working for its destruction is Antisemitism.
The double standard is deafening. Where are the mass campus protests against Russia killing more than 30,000 Ukrainians and wounding more than 100,000, in an unprovoked attack? In the war in Sudan, more than 22,000 have been killed and more than 25 million are suffering acute hunger as aid cannot get to the poorest people affected by the war — where are those media-headlining campus protests? They don’t exist. Instead, all the rage is focused on Israel as it defends itself and responds to enemies who crossed into the country and committed mass killings at a music festival, who broke into homes and ripped babies out of their mothers’ arms and killed them. And the atrocities of that day continue into 2024 with hostages as young as a one-year-old toddler still in captivity today, and as old as an 85-year-old farmer that Hamas killed in captivity.
If 1,200 Americans were slaughtered on U.S. soil and 250 Americans, young and old, were kidnapped and held hostage in terrorist territory, we would not tolerate our government giving up without routing out the terrorists from 300 miles of tunnels built with subverted funds for the overtly stated mission of hiding in wait and ultimately striking again to kill every American Christian living in the U.S.
If you would find that unacceptable for the U.S., but enthusiastically support that for Israel, your double standard betrays your Antisemitism.
The Anxiety of an Unsure Future
I also have newfound anxiety for the future. I will soon send my oldest to college. I thought my only worries would be the cost and where she would get accepted. However, I now worry about her physical and emotional safety. Will she have to walk through riots and anti-Israel protests on the way to class? Will her classmates demand she give up who she is? Will she have a roommate who secretly or not-so-secretly thinks she has no right to exist in this world? Will she feel safe attending services or events at Hillel, the Jewish student group on campus?
Who should I vote for? As I said I’m a liberal but a large chunk of the Democratic party is actively hostile towards Israel. I consider that hostility an existential threat to the safety of my family. How do I choose between safety as a Jew and reproductive rights for my daughters? What do I do when forced to choose between fighting climate change for future generations or the safety of my friends and family?
I feel for the Palestinian people, the innocents stuck in the middle between Hamas, which values them only as dead pawns; and Israel, which has a right and responsibility to defend its citizens. I dream of a future day with a multi-state solution where both Palestinians and Israelis coexist as both accept that neither people are going anywhere.
I am a Jew. We choose to be survivors not victims. We will come through this like always, but it would help if the world would stop having false equivalences, stop demanding of Israel things they would demand of no other nation, and stop blaming the Jews. We Jews don’t have space lasers, we don’t control the weather or the banks, we are people who would rather live in harmony with everyone but will fight for our life and rights if we have to.
Thank you for reading my thoughts. Agree or disagree I hope you learn something about how the year has impacted me and many Jews in town, around the country, and the world. I never planned to write this. There are other ways I would like to spend my time but sadly some things must be said. Please be a friend and ally to the Jewish community in our hour of need.
Joshua Kessleman